Tuesday 11Mar

 Well, we aren't yet out of the woods with Brian's behavior. Today was another mildly rough day for Brian. He was very confused for most of the day. This tends to lead to his aggressive behavior. Today that trend seemed to continue. Brian definitely had a rough morning and then took a long nap after lunch. He was snoring almost immediately when his head hit the pillow. When he woke up he was more confused than I had really seen him so far. I had to leave shortly after he woke up to pick up Lincoln from school so I'm not sure how well he woke up out of that, but hopefully that went well. 

I chatted with his behavioral health specialist today for a bit and she was with Brian for a big chunk of the morning, which is not a good sign on how he was doing. She is still working on his behavior plan but she said today was really enlightening for her so she could see how his behavior presents, pinpointing some of his triggers, and observing his redirect-ability first hand. She should have that behavior plan soon which will detail what to avoid for all of us (me and his care team), how to redirect if poor behaviors present, how to prevent behavior in a more general way (this would be some of those low stim guidelines and limiting visitors). One thing that really helps with brain injury patients is orientation. This means knowing the date, where he is, and why he is there. Just general basics. She said something that would help Brian with orientation would be to keep a consistent schedule for myself during the week and try to always come and leave at about the same time every day and limit distractions. We need to make sure Brian is participating during therapies to his full capacity and distractions would obviously take away from that. 

I also talked with Brian's neurologist today and he said they are going to trial another med change to see if that will help with Brian's irritability. He was going to start those tomorrow and we will just observe Brian and see how that goes. The brain is obviously very difficult to treat and it seems as though every patient is just a bit different. The best news for this is that Brian is exactly where he should be for going through this and he is surrounded by experts in treating brains. 

I can't remember if I have put this in a previous post or not, but the nursing manager was helping out with Brian on that bad day last week. She had told me that this tends to be the hardest part of TBI recovery other than the life saving part. And that is definitely ringing true right now. It's hard to see Brian struggling with just being and feeling like he is being kept there when he doesn't want to be and he feels like he doesn't need to be. He is also currently struggling to trust the staff there and if I support them then I am against Brian, is how he sees it right now. This is hard for me to navigate because it can feel like I am not doing anything right. This is why I'm looking forward to the behavior plan to help me out also. One strength I do think I really possess is helping Brian calm down and actually articulate his frustration. When I am there and he starts to get angry, he seems to listen to me a bit more than the staff, but this also puts me in a very difficult position because I can't always be there since I also have to be a mom to Lincoln. Sorry, I'm just venting here for a second, but we will get through this. This should be a short period of his healing, it just may feel long in the moment. 

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